I made a decision! Well I’ve made a surprising number of those this week but one in particular: I am going to make a video to talk about grief of losing a parent. Things I wish I knew beforehand that happened, the complex emotions that take place and what life looks like 3 years on from losing said parent. I will try to find a way to upload it to the website but if I fail epically, it will be available on all of my social media platforms.
The past week has been a mix of non - productive relaxing with my little brood of humanlings and attempting to be productive in small bursts. Oh and my coffee table broke! And it wasn’t even because one of the kids broke the glass top like we all assumed it would be when I got the damn thing. No… a bolt came out of it and REFUSED to go back in because the hole for it had somehow expanded! I swear it could only happen to me! Anyway, joke’s on the table because my Uncle Rodger has agreed to make me one (he’s mega good at that kinda thing!) and it will blend in with my living room furniture more so… happy days!
I’ve also been thinking about the direction I want to take this blog in and apart from wanting to keep you all up to date with my life week to week, I also know it’s time for this little bean (me) to open up as promised and start talking about controversial and/or deeper topics that I have experience on. So, as I said, my first video on that will be about my dad’s passing. At some point soon, I’ll also be talking about co - parenting with an ex (he’s not trauma related, it’s just something that may help others), abusive exes (not the one I co parent with), failed friendships/relationships and loads more. I will always provide a trigger warning though so if you feel a topic is going to be something that you may struggle with, don’t cause yourself more harm by watching/reading before you feel ready. It will still be there if you do ever feel ready.
I took a big (for me) step this week too. I won’t say too much about it for now because I’m still waiting for an outcome but what I will say is that I decided to take a chance and put myself out there to try for an opportunity I would really like. My friend reminded me that the worst that will happen is they say no to me and I go back to how things are now. Best case? They say yes and I get the chance to do something that would mean the world to me. Watch this space!
Next week, it’s my middle humanling’s birthday and I cannot comprehend how my 8lb5oz baby is turning 10! What in the heck?! I’m not old enough (I am) and it cannot have been a whole decade (it has been) since I met him for the first time. So the next few days will be spent wrapping presents, sneaking his birthday cake into the house and getting decorations ready! So if I’m quiet, that’s why!
All in all, I realised there’s going to be a lot of stepping out of my comfort zone to do but I feel ready to be brave. As someone I look up to once said: “if you want to walk on water, you have to get out of the boat”. He was talking about faith in a different context of course, but it’s stayed with me and now it’s time for me to practise that myself. I will update you on it all next week and maybe I’ll be able to speak more about the chance I took to step out of my comfort zone too!
Lotsa love
Soph xo
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